motivation to tarry

in the last few weeks there has been so much attention paid to various blogs and e-journals that it's been somewhat impossible to avoid jumping aboard. my inspiration to actually write something was based off of the reading assigned for "homework". i read a passage on free writing, and realized that's exactly the kind of writing invented for the scatterbrained and loopy. with this excitement, i immediately began to ponder what i might ramble on and on about or what i may explore. i got so over enthused, that not only was my reading then half-assed, but i thought in circles and lost my train of thought for the ideas floating perpetually in the high-ceilinged gap in my brain--almost tangible but not quite there. i think more like jack kerouac writes, but my typing speed makes it easier for my brain to almost collect my thoughts enough for punctuation (ish) and complete sentences. in my decaffeinated stupor the other day in class, i zoned out (those windows really can get distracting; the human eye must have an affinity to look towards brighter objects?) and thought about clothes and tools and electronics and made mental lists of all the things i could eat and buy and want. it occurred to me that, through capitalistic encouragement or through (i hate when words don't drop from the heights of my never ending brain when i want them to) the blackberry dependent culture we've created, but we just never stop wanting things. i'm not going to sit and ponder why anymore, that's for when i need to develop my opinions and explore other views like that damn book asked me to do. but what if we can't discipline ourselves to stop wanting things? perhaps we would have quite a social movement if we somehow geared ourselves and the upcoming youth to desire the knowledge Plato spoke of (the firsthand knowledge, the fluid intelligence) instead of buying clothes and toys we don't really need. maybe that's why our need for these things isn't waning. whatever. perhaps i'll explore this idea more fully once i'm motivated. i just read a chapter out of a textbook, which was required, and i'm the academic analogy of a chain smoker lagging, out of breath, in gym. i feel like a perpetual stoner--i'll have great ideas and the enthusiasm to further find my own opinions, and then 20 minutes later i'll actually get around to it and realize i can't recall what was so unique or great about that idea. its frustrating. here's to writing blogs. here's to writing anything at all, and having the wherewithal to get off Facebook and onto something slightly more stimulating. so much for free writing.